The X-rated adult film industry has been on a parody rampage churning out odd titles from Batman XXX A Porn Parody and Carolina Jones to Big Bang Theory A XXX Parody and This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX. These titles are rampant in the porn DVD market and are entering the realm of Tomb Raider with porn star Chanel Preston playing Lara Croft in the upcoming Tomb Raider XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody.
I can't say I'm a huge fan of parody porn films, but somehow I can't resist the allure of Lara Croft in a Tomb Raider porn film!
However, being Lara Croft is no day at the beach...
The final GamePro web site archived by the WayBack Machine on July 21, 2011:
When you hear the digital-age pundits saying that "print" is a dead medium, we all assume we'll be forced to "read" our favorite magazines on an iPad, Kindle or one of those atrocious Flash files on a web site. (Note to Flash programmers: there's no reason to simulate a page-turn on a digital file. That's reserved for real books & magazines.) We don't assume those beloved analog publications will disappear.
First published in 1989, GamePro magazine provided feature articles, news, previews, and reviews on video games, hardware and the gaming industry. The magazine was published monthly from its headquarters in San Francisco. The February 2010 issue introduced a redesigned layout and new editorial direction focused on the people and culture of gaming.
The monthly run of GamePro ended after over 22 years, with the October 2011 issue. After that issue, the magazine changed to GamePro Quarterly, which was a thicker quarterly publication using higher quality paper stock as well as being larger than a standard magazine. GamePro Quarterly hit newsstands in the first half of November 2011.The quarterly endeavor only lasted one issue. On November 30th, it was announced that GamePro as a magazine and a website would be shutting down on December 5, 2011. GamePro would become part of the PC World website as a section of their site about video games run by the PC World staff.
The newest arcade to open in your town might be in the Men's Room and the game controller is in your pants. Just don't expect the games to last as long as quarters did back in the day.
Defining ingenuity in our modern world has just become more difficult. Is it genius to turn a urinal into a video game? It is if it gets participants to "aim better" thus keeping the floor cleaner. On the other hand, didn't pee-games end for most of us with successful potty training?
Bars in the UK are apparently experimenting with a new addition to their Men's Room. A video monitor above the urinal allows the user to play for the duration of his urination. No stream - no more play. Your urine stream is used to control the game - you always knew it was a joystick. I guess bar owners can view the former bill-changing machines as unnecessary when customers order more drinks to fill their bladders in order to play again. Who knows?
If this succeeds, I'm sure smart-card technology will be enabled to save games and continue them at other participating Men's Rooms. My concern is when the guy next to me wants to challenge me to a 2-player game. Yuck!
As soon as Christmas decor shows up next to the skulls & pumpkins during Halloween, Black Friday can't be far off. It looks enticing at first. Then those dreadful TV ads besiege us with "Buy Now Or Die" slogans and store hours that must make retail employees cringe.
How exactly does one fit a 2:00am shopping spree into one's Thanksgiving holiday plans? And what the fuck do I do at 2:30am when I'm done shopping?
Thursday morning my newspaper weighed 5 pounds and contained dozens of bulky fliers for stores I didn't even know existed in my area. Door Busters? What the fuck is a door buster? Oh I see. It's a 50% discount on a semi-enticing item with the hope I'll spend a ton of money on other marked-up stuff. At 2:00am they'd be lucky if I managed to find the fucking store!
Thursday night I looked through the Toys R Us catalog and discovered the Atari Flashback 3 for 50% off. SHIT!
Now I have to fucking go shopping on Black Friday! How often does one see an Atari product prominently displayed in a sale circular? Ever?
Around 8:30am on Black Friday I went to Toys R Us to claim my discount - no, I didn't have any fucking Geoffrey Bucks! I walked past the insanely long checkout line (with 8 ringing registers) to the video game corner.
No Flashback.
The clerk sent me over to the Board Game area.
No Flashback.
The clerk sent me back to the video game corner. Fuck that - Customer Service has a computer.
The worst part was no one had heard of the Atari Flashback 3 despite it being in their fucking sale circular, nor was it out on the damn shelves! If I ran a store that sold an Atari product, it would be prominently displayed at the entrance and a clown with an axe would enforce our mandatory purchase policy. So, anyway...
A clerk "went out back" to see if he "could find one". It was in the catalog, showed stock on the computer - don't come back without an Atari Flashback 3, Little Man (Mother Fucker)!
Fortunately he did return with one and I left a happy camper (pun intended for all the fuckos camping out overnight to save $5 on a Teletubby) with an Atari Flashback 3 loaded with 60 games. Yay! But I still despise Black Friday :)
Recent reports speculate that the Flashback 3 may not be a legit licensed product. It's build quality is less than prior models and was released by a different company. Perhaps the difficulty I had at Toys R Us stemmed from some of these issues.
The Atari Flashback 3 contains the following built-in games:
3D Tic-Tac-Toe, Adventure, Adventure II, Air Sea Battle, Aquaventure, Asteroids, Backgammon, Basketball, Battle Zone, Bowling, Canyon Bomber, Centipede, Championship Soccer, Circus Atari, Combat, Combat Two, Demons to Diamonds, Desert Falcon, Dodge' Em, Double Dunk, Fatal Run, Flag Capture, Frog Pond, Fun with Numbers, Golf, Gravitar, Hangman, Haunted House, Home Run, Human Cannonball, Maze Craze, Miniature Golf, Missile Command, Night Driver, Off the Wall, Outlaw, Realsports Baseball, Realsports Basketball, Realsports Soccer, Realsports Volleyball, Swordquest: Earthworld, Super Baseball, Saboteur, Save Mary, Secret Quest, Sky Diver, Space War, Sprintmaster, Star Ship, Steeplechase, Submarine Commander, Super Breakout, Super Football, Surround, Swordquest: Fireworld, Video Checkers, Video Chess, Video Pinball, Wizard, Yars' Revenge.
November 24, 2011 Retro Gaming Blog Post:
Happy Thanksgiving!!
This is a day best spent playing classic video games and avoiding all the annoying guests someone invited to your house :)
WOW! What a great concept from a marketing standpoint... and gaming too. Imagine being a marketing wonk and devising a way to make one game for which people would want to buy multiple add-ons. 37 at last count - to be specific! The upper echelon of Activision must be dizzy with joy at the potential sales of Skylanders and all the post-purchase figures.
Skylanders is a pretty cool concept for gamers too. The Portal adds a slick new interface to your console that enables you to add "content" (so to speak) via kick-ass little action figures being placed on the Portal. Drop one on and all of a sudden the character enters the game! Seems like a win-win all around.
Not too many games have appeared with so much promise of after-sale revenue. Once a kid (or myself) gets the starter pack with 3 Skylanders, they're going to want more. It's inevitable!
Even the in-store diaplay is slick. With the Portal powered up, you can plop a single-packaged figurine right on it to see how it reacts with the game and what the character has to offer. This works with the figure still in the packaging! Someone had their thinking-cap cinched on pretty tight - well thought out!
The starter pack comes with the game, 3 figures and the wireless portal. I'm stoked on this and already want more figures!!
One of the scariest things out there is a powerful government fostering stupidity in a vacuum and releasing the result on the people.
It may be a good idea to remind your Congressman that he/she should stay away from HR 3261 (SOPA) and not pretend to know anything about technology. There's nothing worse that than right-wing nut jobs finding an excuse to rid the world of things they don't care for. Often politicians forget they are elected and are supposed to support the wishes of constituents. Remind them that technology isn't something to be dealt with lightly.
Emptying litter boxes?!?
Walking the dog!?!
That sound like way too much work when you could simply care for a pet zombie.
With the zombie craze in full swing, you can find zombies on AMC's Walking Dead, in movies, on the web and this year's number one Halloween costume was... ZOMBIE! The living dead seem to be all the rage among the living these days.
Pet Zombies is a parody of the "pet care" genre and its done in an entertaining way. You play mini games to earn Zombucks that let you buy more items for your pet zombie. So, get rid of those games that make you feed a virtual dog or clean up digital cat shit and tame some zombies on your 3DS!
The dead need love too...
November 10, 2011 Retro Gaming Blog Post:
Every Town Should Sponsor an Arcade Expo: 2011 Houston Arcade Expo
Who doesn't like a sleek handheld game system in black with a flair of Zelda?
but...
Is this the last hurrah before a new 3DS is released in 2012 with the additional controller button built in?
Remember news of the 3DS strap-on button that provides extra control for upcoming 3d party games? It seems as if the Zelda edition 3DS may be a last cry for sales of a hardware model that will soon fade into history when an updated model is released with the strap-on button built into the unit itself.
Sounds as if we'll have an answer in mid December when the strap-on button goes on sale. It might be worth holding off on that Holiday 3DS purchase in the likelihood that new hardware is coming soon after. Just a thought. Of course all this comes from a guy (me) who is ordering another DX Lite for it's Game Boy Advance compatibility. :)
Back in the late 80's when I was happily running Apple's System 6.0.8, I adored the Control Panel called Talking Moose. He later seemed incompatible with the changes that came with System 7 and I sort of lost track of his witty sayings.
I'm delighted to see him return (although I'm sure his compatibility resurrection happened a decade ago) and greet me at every start up and blather at me during the day. Go download Talking Moose and revel in his idiotic brilliance.
Long ago I built a Mac into an old PC Tower case, using a IIcx motherboard. A non-terminated SCSI device blew out my motherboard setting me back a few weeks waiting for the new board to arrive. Upon booting up, my beloved Talking Moose poped up and said, "It's nice to see you again".
I've been a long fan of Talking Moose for that interaction alone. ;)
Video game inspired jewelry is a rarity in an age of t-shirts and enough gold chains to weight you down more than the next wannabe thug. Accessorizing rarely looks to 1981 or video games, but it's about time it did. What outfit wouldn't be smartened up by a Space Invader ring?
Just don't mix this with your Pac-Man cuff links or Atari Joystick belt buckle. That's the dividing line between style and looking like a moron... like wearing fifteen gold chains with your pants halfway down you ass ;)
Virtually all Halloween costumes for women seem to vaguely represent the character with most emphasis ensuring the wearer will look slutty rather than "in character". What woman doesn't want to make a splash at a halloween party in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume? All this girl needs is an appetite for pizza (or sex) and that Best Costume award will be sitting on her mantle for generations of good stories to share with her grandchildren.
If you're going to be Donatello, why not sex it up? Nothing brings truer meaning to a children's cartoon character than a short skirt and nipple-licious spandex, right? Every time I catch a TMNT movie, my first thought is always, "Wow, nice ass!"
With the popularity of Super Heroes, what girl doesn't want to slink into a micro mini skirt, tight shirt and cape and bend over in that infamous SuperGirl pose? Porn star Sandy Summers shows how flashing her ass can incapacitate the deadliest of comic villans. This has all the makings of a great trick-or-treat reveal.
"Hey Mom, why can't I have any friends over?"
As much a we love all these slutty costumes in spite of the idiotic relation to the characters, if you're going to slut up a children's character you should really do it right. Don't hold back!
Who's stoked for some new Beavis and Butthead!?!
Hell yeah!!
"Beavis and Butt-Head" ran from March 8, 1993, to November 28, 1997 on MTV and were destined for DVD release until licensing issues took precedence and the full versions never saw the light of day on DVD. Their simple ingenuity gave them a cult following that will soon be rewarded in the form of new episodes on Mtv!
We got Mtv shortly after it was introduced in the early 80's and it changed the way I watched TV. I was obsessed with the video side of music and discovered tons of new bands via Mtv. Then the music stopped. I'm not sure when Mtv decided to become the lowest rung on the ladder of reality TV, but I've found no reason to watch it for the last few decades. Jersey Shore? Are you fucking kidding me?
It's a shame Mtv decided to become a major broadcaster of crap. They seemed so innovative at the outset. Formats and trends change, but their offerings are so pathetic, I can't imagine watching them any longe than it takes to revel in the new Beavis and Butthead episodes.
Although Beavis and Butthead's critical review of music videos has apparently been exchanged for commentary on the drivel that Mtv currently hosts, I'm fully stoked to see them on the tube again!
I'm sure I'll be pushing the fun-meter with eps I have on DVD from the Mike Judge collections and the Time-Life releases.
October 22, 2011 Retro Gaming Blog Post:
Custom Atari 2600 Game Cartridge
I wish I remembered the site I found this cart generator on...
October 21, 2011 Retro Gaming Blog Post:
ZomBcon 2011
How fucking cool is a ZOMBIE Convention!?! But why didn't I know about ZomBcon 2011? I like to think I'm somewhat informed about zombies and their occasional gatherings.
With the popularity of The Walking Dead on AMC and proliferation of zombie films (thanks, George A. Romero), the living dead need a Con and dammit I'd like to have attended! :)
I can't remember the last time I considered merging a hat, gloves and scarf into one garment, but the folks at Spirithood have done so. Most importantly, they do it well. A lot of knock-off versions of this idea exist on the web, but they all look like cheap gimmicks for kids.
Naturally we gravitated toward the pretty girls in skimpy clothing - who obviously need to stay warm. Winterizing a bikini seems to defeat the purpose, so we're all for adding a hat. Everyone loves a hottie in a bikini and fur hat, but this goes deeper.
For unknown reasons I can't stave off an impulsive need to order one. They have a "Mens" area on their Spirithoods web site. It must be OK for a guy to rock an animal-mitten/scarf combo-hat, right?
I've always worn those Mad-bomber hats in the winter. Hella warm and just different enough to be cool without coaxing random hate-freaks to seek your demise. I'm not sure the Spirithoods' additional mitten-scarf portion can repel those same haters, but I'm really feeling the need to snag the one with the "tribal" design on the flip-side.
We'll see how my logic plays out on this one, but you should stop by their site for a look. Maybe you'll come under the same unexplainable desire to have one that is currently tugging at my wallet. Good stuff!
I've always felt that Grandmothers own "sofas" and those shy of their retirement years have "couches". Either way, my ass wants to be on a Space Invaders sofa - Atari joystick in-hand!
Every game geek needs one of these parked in front of their TV. This limited edition retro gaming-inspired couch was created by Russian designer Igor Chak. Each hand-made couch (as I prefer to call them) is designed and manufactured in Los Angeles using leather-covered memory foam cushions.
You'd be hard pressed to find any retro furniture more game inspired than this. The simple design and bold angular features scream for a round of Space Invaders. We're dying to see what the ottoman will look like. :)
When a site is advertised by a cute girl gaming in the bathroom (we're making a rare attempt at being polite about it) next to a periodic table shower curtain, it's worth looking into. It sends a distinct message - "We're not fucking around." And that's just the kind of message you want when you're searching the dregs of YouTube in the hopes of finding the next big thing.
Geekgasm is THAT thing. YouTube has no shortage of funny, witty or clever videos, but rarely do you see these elements come together in a single channel. Folks are out there trying to turn tube sites into next-gen tv channels. Aggressive Comix seems to be on that path with their installments of Geekgasm. Melding geek with gorgeous, they offer compelling segments that really make you yearn to see the next episode.
Jenny Lorenzo does a fantastic job with the Geekgasm YouTube videos. Definitely worth a look & subscription! Don't be fooled into thinking she's just a pretty face. She's credited at the end with editing. We suspected she was a smart gal because you can't brilliantly perform demented comedy without a sharp focused mind. And who doesn't dig a cute chick who's comfy in the editing suite?!?
As far as bathroom decor goes, we went with the Atari Asteroids wall-decals for our bathroom, but the Elements shower curtain works well too.
There definitely seems to be a bathroom-theme with Geekgasm's marketing division, but we're down with that. After all they're putting out some damn good shit! Ahh... there's the pun we shied away from earlier ;)
Perhaps I should have re-worded that title...
I don't live in a mobile home and have never wanted a trailer hitch on the side of my "house". What I was getting at is playing mobile game devices at home.
Long ago I purchased a Game Boy because it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Did I really want to give up gaming on a large color TV for a gray-scale adventure on an unintelligible little screen? Hel no!
From Game Boy I went to Game Boy Color hoping the color screen would win me over. I was only to be disappointed with another screen that was impossible to view- albeit in color. In between I was impressed with the Atari Lynx, but Atari's market power (among other things) gave the Lynx a short life span. Still not convinced I needed a handheld gaming device I bought the Game Boy Advance and loved the backward compatibility with all the former Game Boy formats.
Then the need arose for a DS. It was an emergency!!
Atari released 2 greatest hits titles for the DS - thus I needed one pronto. By this time there were several models, some with dual cameras and internet connectivity. Um... I just wanna play my favorite old Atari games.
The DS Lite did the trick and was the last in the DS series to offer Game Boy Advance compatibility. You have to love Nintendo's dedication to backward compatibility. I'm not yet sold on the 3DS or even a real need to have a portable gaming device (OK, the Caanoo is a vital necessity for any old-schooler). But lets get back to my mobile home...
My long-winded point is that I rarely ever take any of my portables anywhere. It's the games themselves that drove me to them, not the ability to play those games on the go. I spend 90% of my gaming hours on handhelds while sitting around the house. When I'm out and about, I have shit to do - no time for games. Maybe I'm the exception, but I'd be curious if other handheld owners buy these systems for portability or for the games available on these systems.
Marketing geniuses across the globe have all banded together to verify among themselves that any product can be painted pink to appeal to women.
I have nothing against pink, but the pink mega-glow emanating from the "girls aisle" in the toy store has always annoyed me. When pink toys are re-released in shades of gray, blue and green... a girl's doll suddenly becomes an action figure - often toting a fierce weapon for good measure.
This all seems like a variant of profiling that assumes girls want pink products. If color is the only factor, I think someone needs to hold a focus group or two. Am I to believe girls are dying to own a Nintendo 3DS, but are holding out for PINK? I doubt it.
Pink always seems to be added to the mix after a product release in the usual attempt to sway female consumers. Why not include them from the beginning and release pink at the outset?
However, the 3DS' quick price reduction and luke-warm sales figures seem to indicate that scant titles and short battery life are not gender-specific purchasing barriers.
I've always liked GamePro mag, but I never seem able to find it on newsstands - unless I'm traveling. The only place I find it is at airport newsstands. I never mind killing time at the gate or on a plane with a copy, but those Hudson News kiosks must have an inner channel for stocking the mag.
My last trip again proved that only airports sell Gamepro, but the odds of my travel times coinciding with issue releases are growing slimmer. Seems my airport companion is unable to maintain monthly issues and is turning quarterly. They call it "a thick, glossy high-production value publication that feels like a quality tome - not a skimpy pamphlet'. Lets be honest. The economy is in the toilet and its effecting EVERYBODY.
I hope they can keep going in quarterly mode. Print is not dead, it simply fills a different need than it once did. Info from 3 months ago became unacceptable 10 seconds after the masses discovered how modems worked. Magazines have smartly shifted focus from breaking news to more niche info. More people read magazines than own digital readers. Go print! Go GamePro!
Oh yeah, I want to go into the bathroom with a magazine, not a iPad. Odd how this all comes down to poop.
In 2013 you won't need your game console to infect your TV set with Raving Rabbids.
A global deal between UBI and Nickelodeon is going to let those plunger-shooting maniacs star in their own TV show. Created as a CG-animated program, they are expected to put together short segments that will comprise 26 half-hour episodes for broadcast on Nickelodeon.
If the Rabbids can maintain their popularity, can we expect more "gaming" characters to appear in their own TV shows? We're hoping Rabbid success will pave the way for Adult Swim to give Juliet Starling her own show, thus bringing the Scooby Doo concept into the modern zombie-slaying world in which we live.
Daphne is a hottie, but we think Juliet can easily take it to the next level - severed head and chainsaw in tow.
In the midst of bad economic times, corporate greed and mass indifference toward the human condition - never has a company been so beloved as Apple Computer. Steve Jobs never announced he was going to change the world - he simply did so. He left an indelible mark on the world in how we listen, watch and communicate.
Jobs reinvented the way we interact with music, media and information. His ability to improve and deliver technology was beyond amazing. His visions seemed to come from an ability to assess the future and develop ideas to bring us up to where we needed to be. Few companies seem able to see more than short-term profits for themselves.
Jobs' example shows that good ideas will bring good fortune. Their have been many successful tech companies, but none that have changed people in such profound and well-intentioned ways. One can only hope his accomplishments will inspire others to think different and reap the rewards of doing something of value rather than the greedy nature of business in these times.
Would anyone over the age of 8 risk being caught playing a board game these days? Remember when playing a game actually meant a board game?
No one seems to play board games anymore unless they're entertaining a child, playing chess in an outdoor park (how the Hell did that get started?), or the power is out. My son still loves board games, but when he says he wants to play a game... 9 times out of 10 he means a video game.
Here are 5 favorites that are simple, fun and can be played without investing a ton of time.
Twixt
Twixt is a strategy game played on board with a 24×24 grid of holes into which each players puts pegs of his/her color. A bridge is laid atop the pegs. The object is to build a solid line (bridge) from your side of the board to the other before your opponent can do the same.
Quoridor
Quoridor is another strategy game played on a 9 x 9 board of 81 squares. 2,3 or 4 players try to move their pawn across the board, being the first to reach the opposite side. On each turn a player can advance their pawn 1 space or put up a wall. Similar to Twixt, walls prevent pawns from passing by blocking their path. You have to keep moving forward while erecting walls that slow down your opponents.
Shut The Box
Shut The Box is a great numbers game that's simple to play and each round takes only a minute or two, but it can get rather addictive. Tiles numbered 1 through 9 are placed upright and 2 dice are rolled. The total of the dice is accounted for by flipping down the numbered tiles that add up to the value on the dice. Roll a 5 and you can flip down the "5" tile or the "2" and the "3" tiles - any combo adding up to 5. When you can no longer flip down any tiles, the remaining ones are your score. Low score wins. Sounds simple, but strategies develop and it's a pretty cool game that was popularized by drunken sailors.
Uncle Wiggily
I had this game a kid and bought it for my son. It's a simple game of following a path based on the cards drawn from the deck. Brings back memories of getting Uncle Wiggily safely to Dr. Possum's house.
Every now and then you can judge a book by it's cover or a video game by it's box-cover. I'm certain I'm buying this game regardless of what any reviews have to say. It's like Onechanbara Bikini Zombie Slayers on the Wii. It's hard to resist it's allure although its easy to suspect it would suck.
Lollipop Chainsaw has the distinction of several options to actually meld a real game around a scantily clad cheerleader who kills zombies. She has several weapons aside from the chainsaw, like her pom poms. She totes along a severed head who will spew suggestions and game tips. There will be bosses to defeat - each with a unique weakness to be discovered.
Juliet's kills are accentuated by rainbows and sparkles depending on how she engages her straggling enemies. Obviously Lollipop Chainsaw has a sense of humor, but from what I've read it will be more than a "sex sells" type of game.
One can only hope that this 2012 release will keep it's momentum and become good game with a sexy side, rather than a sexy game that sucks ass.
Netflix made a business decision to split it's DVD-by-mail (now called Qwikster) and streaming business into two separate entities. This allows them to better manage each operation while making their customers to manage and pay for 2 services instead of one. Super! Customers always love more work and higher pricing!
Those in the marketing biz say they haven't seen such a horrible product launch since New Coke hit the scene - which, by the way, tasted as bad as Pepsi. But it didn't even seem like a "launch". They simply told customers about the new world order of Netflix.
Anger ensued in the form of email, tweets and virtually any social media outlet. Netflix was bombarded with complaints and cancelations via all forms of communication. Speaking of tweets... Here's the best part of this tale. Netflix has a Twitter account, so you'd assume that they would also be behind the @Qwikster account on Twitter. Not so!
The @qwikster account on Twitter is owned by some random pot-head. His avatar has since been changed, but at the original launch of Qwikster the account displayed this "Elmo with spliff" pic. Apparently, Netflix customers are content to believe the media streaming giant would license Elmo in a pot-head motif as their Twitter mascot. Under this belief, the stoner-owner now has over 10,000 followers and I'm sure his inbox is crammed with pissed-off Netflix customers.
Doesn't anyone pay attention to anything? A Netflix account with THAT avatar and a handful of unrelated posts? No wonder so many people get duped by scammers and spammers. Fucking dopes - they deserve it!
I'm no statistician, but a stoner with only 38 tweets and following 61 people isn't likely to generate over 10,000 followers in only 5 months. If he did, he'd have a brilliant opportunity in social marketing.
Any guesses as to how long it took Netflix to come up with Qwikster as the name for their existing DVD by mail service? It only takes a few minutes to secure online names. At least they were smart enough to secure the Qwikster URL for their website. Wouldn't it be awesome if some random porn company already had Qwikster.com?!? :)
Owning full size arcade cabinets isn't for everyone (that's why arcades exist). They're big and they're heavy. You might want your beloved Stargate or Dig Dug in the corner of your den or man-cave, but having a living room full of arcade cabinets is a whole different thing (trust me, I had 4 cabinets in my living room for a while).
Everybody is Rom-crazed and can play Asteroids, Missile Command or Pac man on everything from home computers and tablets to portable Caanoos. Pounding the space bar as a means for shooting space aliens seems counter-intuitive to it's purpose and very un-arcade-like. So, along comes the USB joystick which gave a smidgen of reality to the arcade experience.
You may have a wide-screen computer monitor visibly similar to the ones in arcades of the 80s. The arcade ones were CRT, not flat screen LED, but more importantly they were positioned in portrait mode. Yours is wider horizontally for all those fun spread sheets you have to work with. Thus playing Space Invaders on a conventional flat-screen monitor centers the action in a small part of the middle of the screen. Again - very un-arcade-like.
iCade, youCade, We All Fucking-Cade
With the advent of tablet computers, most notably the iPad, came a rash of accessories and peripherals. One of which was the iCade into which you shove your iPad and convert it into a tiny arcade cabinet suitable for G.I. Joe and other compatible 12" action figures. I think I'd rather suffer the difficulty of owning and maintaining a full size arcade cabinet before I'd get too stoked about inviting the guys over for classic gaming on a miniature table-top iCade cabinet. Suddenly those ROMs on your computer seem pretty good.
Taito now comes to market with a similar "iCade" product with a notable difference: You must like Space Invaders. The aforementioned iCade plays Space Invaders, but lacks the side art of the Taito version that only plays Space Invaders. The Taito iCade will charge your iPad like a dock unlike the other iCade. Taito's only has one button. The iCade has many. All in all, is one game really enough to warrant purchase? Rumored to be around $200, I think I'll manage without owning any iCade products.
Wait - I'll get one if I can respond to emails with the joystick and fire button!
With the economy circling the drain and majorities of Americans rallying around the least despicable Republican Presidential candidate, everything is being scaled back. Even halloween costumes are taking a hit. Gone are the elaborate costumes and homemade creativity. As goblins, witches and superheroes banter for candy on your front porch this Halloween, don't expect the elaborate costumes of years gone by. It's all gone - right down to our clothing and savvy.
Where did our money and creativity disappear to?
Electing Bush twice was a pretty costly mistake for our country. He and his cronies profited beyond their wildest dreams by starting a war. Now, many people blame Obama for not "fixing everything" in his first few years. Do these folks have any understanding of what the last administration did to this country for 8 years?
It's sad to see this poor girl can only afford half of her costume, but on the other hand she's going to get a shitload of candy!
Let me see if I understand this...
Nintendo pursued glasses-free 3D technology, adapted it to a handheld gaming device, brought the product to market - then strapped on another control disc? WTF? Are you kidding me!?!
I was expecting a Christmas-holiday drop in the 3DS pricing, but to see it drop $80 after only 4 months on the market was quite surprising. So now Nintendo themselves are offering this strap-on controller? This seems like the sort of thing I'd expect from a 3rd party developer to extend functionality for a specific game or something.
For a company that I've long admired for inovation and wonderful backward compatibility, this raises some interesting questions. Will future titles "make use of" this strap-on or will they "require" it? Will not having the strap-on make future games less enjoyable?
Another surprising facet is the initial lack of info about the device. I see release dates and pricing... um, anyone know what the fuck it does? What exactly does it add to the DS gaming experience. Is it an addition or duplication of the existing control disc? And how many gamers are eager to make their 3DS bulkier? Dare I mention the 3rd party folks who make slip-cases and protective cases for the 3DS? I'm sure they're excited to know that the 3DS, with Strap-on, no longer fits with their products. Thankfully it will still fit in your Yoshi backpack.
From what I've heard, it runs on it's own single AAA battery which means it won't drain the 3DS' main battery, but who doesn't love having to monitor 2 independent power sources in a single device. People already dial back the 3D to extend the poor battery life. Adding an alkaline battery certainly brings another power annoyance. Maybe I can take the cup-holders off my beer-helmet and slap on some stylish solar panels to power the whole rig.
Don't get me wrong - I love Nintendo and think the 3DS is a remarkable leap forward. I just find the release of this strap-on to be very un-Nintendo-ish. They rarely make such drastic changes so early in a product's lifecycle. It's almost as if they forgot to put it in the original plan and strapped it on afterward.
I'm a sucker for a new pair of Converse Hi-tops. The worse the color the more I want em.
Nike has made a nice rendition of the Marty McFly kicks from Back To The Future, but when I'm feeling nostalgic about the 80s, I'd rather relive the moment driving in a Delorean than sweating into a pair of shoes. And when I'm rilly rilly trying to bring the excessive flair of the 80s rushing back into me - I slam a $2 copy of Asteroids into my Atari 2600! Retro Resolved :)
Every now and then I encounter some info about Atari's Mindlink vapor-ware product of the mid 80's and it gets me thinking about things better left unthought. Intended for release in 1984 this mysterious headband was to be a controller device allowing your mind (or temperature, facial expression) to control a specially designed game.
The reality of 1984 is that an inexpensive headband is not likely to probe your inner thoughts and lend any sort of control to even the most ingeniously designed game.
It's hard to say what sort of elfin magic (cookies not included) was supposed to deliver game control from this device. Did Atari really think they had tapped into anything more than a parlor-trick? Maybe some level of control could be generated by those supple enough to wiggle their ears while wearing this stylish accessory. Short of that - somebody was out of their fucking mind in Atari dev!
It would have seemed that the lesson learned is ESP is bullshit, but wouldn't it be cool to market a wireless controller. I've always wondered why Atari never rolled this bizarre concept into a wireless joystick.
Further proof of their peculiar fortitude toward this project comes from a CES photo in which they were allegedly displaying the device.
When it comes to psychic ability, unexplained phenomena and paranormal research, the general public seems infatuated and unable to digest enough of it. Personally, I think we've searched long enough for Bigfoot without finding anything other than ad revenue for the Discovery Channel. At the same time, I hope those brave mountaineers never stop casting enormous plaster footprints or documenting "larger than normal" piles of shit in the woods. It's gotta be either a Sasquatch or extraterrestrial life form.
Similar to the iCade for iPad, Atari will soon launch it's own turn-your-iPad-into-an-arcade product. This is a much more minimal design than the iCade which turns to iPad into a mini arcade cabinet. The Duo's design seems destined to be more flexible in terms of screen rotation, storage and price.
It should be interesting to see how this iteration stacks up.
Hollywood has long had a deal with video game manufacturers. It involves movie tie-in games that are used to promote Hollywood's theatrical achievements.
For some reason this agreement states that all video games based on movies must suck. It seems odd, but there's obviously a legal agreement between movie and game studios to ensure all blockbuster films will be accompanied by really crappy video games.
Movie-based games suck!!!
However, Captain America seems to have broken that mold! Everything I've read makes me want to snag a copy! As I was bumbling around the web seeking validation that Hollywood didn't force the developer to make a shitty game, I came across a character that should have been included in Captain America video game. Alas I highly doubt she makes any appearances in the game.
When it comes to making a compelling video game, a strong series of characters can make or break the experience. Hollywood feels every movie they create is laden with such characters that they feel will lend themselves to the realm of video game success.
Quick Poll:
How many of you have played a movie-based video game that sucked beyond belief?
Just as I thought!
Everyone knows Archie Andrews and I'd venture to say most people find the entire Riverdale gang an interesting mix of characters. Scooby Doo and his crew of misfit ghost-hunters has found their way into innumerable games including the whole Mystery Inc Gang, so... What's up with Betty & Veronica? Why haven't we seen a video game set in Riverdale?
If Scooby can do it, I think Archie has all the makings to have his own video game too (as long as he brings Betty & Veronica along).
I bought a PS2 when my original PlayStation died. There were too many retro-game compilation discs to just kiss the whole platform goodbye. Thankfully the PS2 is compatible with PS1 games. The real issue is all the moving parts of the newer systems. There are too many components that will fail eventually.
Cartridge-based game consoles tend to last indefinitely. Fewer moving parts. The Atari Jaguar and Nintendo N64 are the last of the home console gaming systems to use cartridges. The portable systems like the DS and Caanoo still use cart/mem sticks for games, but even the PSP uses a disc mech.
My original Atari 2600 is decades old and still performs like a champ, as does my Atari 7800 and Jaguar. There was great debate in the early 90's as to whether these "64-bit" systems were really 64-bit technology or a fudged artifact. Either way, the Jaguar produced some really great games... as well as some truly awful ones.
When talking about retro or classic gaming, people tend to go back farther in time than the Jaguar to the earlier Atari consoles. Although the Jaguar wasn't a commercial success, I'll never forget the incredible joy of walking into a store and purchasing a brand new Atari game system! It was probable more intense than my original 2600 purchase because I never imagined being able to buy a new Atari product.
Sure, I can order FlashBacks by the dozen, but it doesn't have the same charm as a full fledged release on par with other gaming systems. Don't forget the Jaguar! It's an important part of gaming history and a great system with a controller. The Jaguar controller should have been copied throughout the gaming world. Perfect size and layout.
Apple has long been silent regarding the health issues of CEO Steve Jobs. And rightly so, as it isn't anyone's fucking business. It would seem that his resignation from Apple signals his inability to continue in the capacity in which he has performed in the past.
It'sad to hear of him stepping down, but it's even sadder to hear all the moronic analysts spewing about the potential demise of Apple. What a bunch of assholes!
They don't seem to grasp that Jobs was a creator and innovator, not a babysitter (no offense to 12-year-old girls). He created an amazing company that charted the course of technology for the masses. Apples success came from the kind of company he created. I doubt it will fall apart without his daily involvement - he built a damn good operation.
Is Pixar bankrupt? Don't they still create yearly blockbusters without Jobs at the helm?
So why are all these analysts and journalists so determined to predict Apple's fall from grace now that their staffing has decreased by one individual? Speculating on the downfall of Apple shows a lack of understanding of what Steve Jobs created and the risks and genius that put Apple in a position of dominance.
We Wish Steve Jobs the best and are quite certain Apple products will change and enhance our lives for generations to come. Fuck the media!!
Quickly reaching a certain level of fame or notoriety brings all sorts of unsolicited attention. And no one delivers unsolicited attention better than Mad Magazine. They roll with the Angry Birds by suggesting several new levels that should certainly be added to the next release!
I'm sure you can think of a few celebrities that you'd like to fling at a wall, right? Check out the October issue to see who Alfred wants to lob at a wall!
Nintendo has a long history of backward compatibility when releasing new hardware. No one has done it better - or bothered for that matter. Yay Nintendo! However, the slim version of the Wii (due out this holiday season) will achieve it's slimness by dumping support for GameCube software and accessories. Boo Nintendo!
This seems similar to fat people dropping pounds by cutting off an arm! Fuck Jogging - Gimme a knife!?!
Many folks are responding with, "So what?" and saying the slimline Wii is not for people with GameCube collections. Alright, but I've been gaming for decades and have no plan on stopping or abandoning the titles I've adored over the years.
Long Term Gaming
I'm not concerned that my ability to play Luigi's Mansion in 2012 will cease. I'm pissed that I might not be able to play it in 2040! I still play the Atari 2600 I bought when I was 13 - yes, it still works! My original PlayStation shit-the-bed a few years ago necessitating a PS2 purchase so I could play all my retro compilation game discs from Namco, Williams and Activision. Sure, I love many of the new titles that take advantage of all the latest technology game consoles have to offer, but it makes me smile to fire up an Atari 800 to play Berzerk.
Some people forget that game consoles didn't always have hard drives and disc mechs that don't have much of a life span when measured next to a cartridge-based system like an Atari 7800. Yep, my 7800 still works like a charm!
I can hoard a few 2600s to ensure my Spider Fighter days are not limited, but what am I supposed to do about the newer (fail-prone) game consoles? I guess I can stow away a few GameCubes and 1st gen Wiis. Perhaps I'm not ready to live in today's disposable society. How many of you re-purchased VHS faves for DVD? Oh Hell yeah, I was right there snatching up "One Crazy Summer" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" on DVD!
Nintendo Downturn
After George bush finished cashing-in on the war he started, the world economy failed to recessionary levels making everyone suffer in one way or another. I didn't expect the Wii U to maintain GameCube Support, but to release the same Wii hardware in a new slim format by reducing it's capability cheats buyers out of the experience had by those who first purchased a Wii.
The shitty economy is forcing everyone to do more with less, so I guess it's inevitable that Nintendo needed to trim some features to keep the Wii profitable until the Wii U comes out. None the less, I think abandoning GameCube support and compatibility is a bad move.
Hate me if you must... I'm still going to date your sister.
The Slim Wii will be part of a bundle that includes Wii Party, Wii Sports, a Wii Remote Plus controller & a Nunchuck. It will also have a horizontal stance making it take up more space by the TV. Ugh!
Got a craving for classic arcade gaming? The folks at Namco understand your inner desires and have translated that need into an Arcade Game Locator on Facebook. Whether it's Galaga, Pac-Man, Soul Calibur, Tekken or Time Crisis you can enter your geographic location and their app will spit back a map showing locations of each title or multiple ones. Pretty slick!
So if you live in Roswell, NM and alien-peeping has gotten old, you can take a shlep to an arcade featuring some of your favorite games.
However, if you're in the Los Angeles, CA area, your choices are pretty good for a variety of Namco arcade favorites. Hit up their Facebook page to find a Galaga cabinet in your area.
Did anyone else balk at the initial price of the 3DS? I sure did! Yeah, the 3D technology sounded pretty cool and looked pretty good on the demo unit I tried in a store, but the bottom line was $250 was a helluva price to pay for a portable gaming device.
There didn't seem to be any games at launch that I was dying to play - especially at the new 3D prices. Early adopters often foot the R&D bill :)
There are some nice add-ins that came along with the unit, but I had no intention of shelling out $250 for it. I figured the Christmas season would drive the price down and I'm still playing a lot of GBA titles on my DS Lite, so I wasn't keen on losing that compatibility either. It was well launched and they created a good buzz around the new unit, but I decided I could wait for the price to come down.
I wasn't expecting it to happen in 5 months! Nintendo was smart to offer the 20 free downloads for the early adopters, but of course some folks took advantage of early release AND got the 20 free games. Bastards! Large retailers like Wal-Mart green-lit the "fuck it" attitude and sold the unit in advance of the official date for the price drop. Big box-stores seem to have a way of doing whatever they want.
So did you jet out to get a 3DS for $169 today? Me either. I'm still waiting for a significan used-game market to develop. I'm content to wail on my DS Lite for the foreseeable future.
Gene Simmons has made a fortune putting the Kiss logo on every conceivable retail product known to man. My question is where the Hell is the KISS Video Game?!?
Until that mystery is answered, we can see the effect Kiss has on Archie Comic's Betty and Veronica.
It was announced at the 2011 San Diego Comic-Con that Kiss would do a 4-part series in Archie Comics. Kiss has a long history in comics and now have lept into Americana with the Archie Gang. One can only wonder about the purity of Betty & Veronica once Gene Simmons has left his mark.
There are a many ways to present video games and gaming - with tons of web sites to prove it.
We've long been fascinated by porn stars who blog/tweet about their gaming addictions. It's a kick to find out which porn stars prefer which games. Some are old schoolers who fondly remember Super Mario on their SNES, while others are full blown Halo fanatics.
Rarely do these lovely actresses combine their gaming passion with their day-job. So, why not combine the billion dollar industries of blatant nudity and video gaming? Gamer Chicks has done this and offers a pay-site with gamer girls getting naked and gaming... or so the literature suggests.
We decided to mention this site since your next issue of Game Informer or Nintendo Power might not mention this site. Take a look...
Getting visitors to your site can be achieved by enticing content, strategic planning and hard work. Or you can go the "Topless" route. "Lara Croft topless" is always a popular search term. So it seems wise to take advantage of this and offer up some Lara Croft Topless content to keep the search engines happy.
We'll see if our topless tribute to Lara Croft boosts our search results and you all can enjoy the tits. Come on, who doesn't like Laura Croft topless? We certainly don't mind the opportunity to see Lara Croft topless. We wouldn't mind if Lara Croft was nude for that matter. Cosplay makes for some enticing photo ops of Lara Croft topless.
We hope you've enjoyed our gratuitous salute to Lara Croft topless and can appreciate the search engine rankings that come from Lara Croft topless. Here's to better rankings, childish behavior and Lara Croft Topless!
She's cute, but what the Hell is she wearing?!?
Is this really an item that would ever leave the closet? Where do you wear such a thing? It doesn't really offer any proud statement of gaming dedication.
It kind of says, "My boyfriend wishes I didn't hate video games."
As gamer fashions go, we've all seen the Nintendo panties and wished we knew the gal wearing them.
But as mobile gaming expands to more and more bored owners of smart-phones, we see a change in gaming fashion:
So as the quality of gaming goes downhill, fashion trends rise?
(I'm not a fan mobile games, but love a clever slogan on panties)
Tank Girl has been many things. She started as a comic (absolutely brilliant), was turned into a movie (dreadful, but fun to watch) and a board game. A board game?!? Yep!
Having seen this pic that Rufus Dayglo (Tank Girl artist) posted of Frida Gustavsson as Tank Girl, made me think that Tanky would be a helluva video game character!
There's always been an emphasis on kick-ass female characters in games and many articles allude to how much guys seen to like playing as these gals.
Tank Girl would fit in so beautifully to any post-apocalyptic video game. She's tough, edgy, hardcore, versatile and drives a tank. What's not to like. Tanky definitely needs to star in Tank Girl: Death Destruction & Dicks - The Video Game". After all, she's the girl U want.
My favorite Batman actor is Michael Keaton, but not for his portrayal in the role. I read an interview with Keaton where he spoke of his being cast in the TV series Lost.
Keaton originally agreed to play the lead role that was finally played by Matthew Fox. One of the ways they kept Lost fresh was by killing off characters that seemed to have leading roles. The role Fox played was originally going to be killed off after the first few episodes.
That being the case, Michael Keaton agreed to the role. He backed out, however, when he discovered that the execs liked the role and decided to keep him alive. Keaton resigned saying he didn't want to commit to a long term TV role.
Loosely trying to go back to the Batman tie-in of this posting (with the hot chick), Keaton told the execs he couldn't commit to their time frame...
Quote: "I'm Batman. I've got shit to do."
That is by far one of my favorite quotes and makes me like Keaton - even in Mr. Mom.
Paying a couple of bucks to "try before you buy" sounds better than paying $50 to own a shitty game.
I see the obvious convenience of Redbox for renting movies. I watch a 2 hour movie and return it. Done. Cool. But the video game scenario is a little different for some folks. I might play a game for 2 hours, but I might also be inclined to put 50 hours into a game... you never know.
The Redbox folks are renting Wii, PS3 and Xbox games for $2+tax per night.
The unlimited plans from Blockbuster and Gamefly seem to trump the utility of paying $2+ per night. The only scenario I can figure for a daily charge is to spend the $2 bucks to see if you want to later go to an actual game store and buy a copy.
In some cases, it's well worth a couple bucks to see if a game sucks rather than paying $50 to make the same discovery.
As far as actually getting immersed in a game and playing it to the end, that $2 charge would add up pretty quickly. For that type of play, I'd opt for Gamefly and send it back when I'm done. Still, I think the daily charge adds an interesting dynamic to game accessibility. Where else can you have this sort of testing ground for a new game?
Trailers are fun to watch, but they're designed as marketing tools to sell good games as well as crappy ones. GameStop usually has one kiosk per platform with one game loaded. I rather like the idea of a quick & easy "try before you buy" model.
Of course I'm sort of a wacko when it comes to media. I like to own movies I really love and be able to play them on a whim without a download or trip to the rental store. Same with video games - if I dig 'em, I want to own them. But I'm definitely down to have a slick way of trying a game before shelling out a lot of money on crap.
Living in the North East, the climate is not conducive to outdoor vending for the most part. I've read that some more temperate areas have outdoor Redbox kiosks that offer 24/7 access. OK, I'm convinced. I dig the Redbox model.
Apple shows no limit when getting their products placed in relevant hot-spots from hit TV shows to the war-ravaged terrain seen on the nightly news.
This pic was in The New York Times.
I've read quite a few post-E3 articles in which people feel confused and perplexed by the Wii U. They seem unable to accept that the tablet-like controller is not an iPad. WTF? It's a controller, not a tablet computer, Fuckos! It is dependent on the Wii U console.
The tablet-style controller adds new dimension to game-play by sending info to the controller's screen rather than cluttering the TV and lets players interact with games in new ways. That wasn't too difficult, was it? Does no one remember how revolutionary (aka: misunderstood & maligned) the original Wii controllers were at launch? No wires? Wait... what?
There were a bunch of games that made use of the Game Boy Advance-to-GameCube connection cable that worked in a similar way letting the GBA convey game info to the player via the GBA screen.
Too many people are jumping on the bandwagon and suddenly agreeing with eroneous articles claiming Nintendo's presentation sent confusing messages. Maybe some attendee's hangovers were addling their capacity to look at the fucking product and deduce it's purpose. I wonder if these deluded folks also get in their cars wondering why they can't watch TV on their GPS screen. It should play movies too since it looks like a little TV, right?
The idea of shaking, waving and aiming a controller was pretty odd in 2006, but we all figured it out - didn't we? Albeit the VirtualBoy, Nintendo has a long track record of creating whacky shit replete with revolutionary advances. Wake up and revel in the joy of gaming advances. It took years for Sony and Microsoft to copy the Wii remote and Nintendo takes it to a new level. I'd say that's something to be excited about, not skeptical.
So, why did we include pix of porn star Janessa Brazil in our tirade about journalist's inability to recognize Nintendo's long history of revolutionary yet often misunderstood genius?
Because she properly livened up this rant and that's how we roll - bikini'd, Baby! :)
After hearing the disappointing news from Nintendo that the Wii U will not support the smaller-format sized GameCube game discs, engineers gathered to resolve this oversight.
After hours of deliberation, they determined that GameCubes and existing Wii Systems will still play the older disc format.
Come on people - do you throw away your old consoles the second a new one arrives? WTF!
Your current Wii will continue to play your GameCube games just fine as it always has. Many have forgotten this work-around, but GamCubes also play GameCube games and you can get 'em for $20.
Don't get me wrong, I bought tons of GC titles after buying my Wii, but just because they drop support on the new Wii U, doesn't mean the end of GameCube games. I love GC games and will continue to play them on whatever hardware I need to dredge up to do so.
By the time the Wii U arrives in stores the old Wii System will be cheap as Hell and everyone can get one at a bargain rate. Now might be a good time to stock up on GameCube controllers and memory cards in anticipation of the drought.
People - myself included - are still playing Atari 2600 games from ago. I didn't re-invent fire or cure Cancer, but I have figured out how to play my favorite classic games on a variety of platforms and consoles, including the Atari 2600 I bought when I was 13. See, don't throw shit away! You might want it again in the future.
I'll still be enjoying GameCube games in 2012 and I'm sure other GC fans will figure out a way to do the same :)
Launching in 2012 at approximately 1.8 inches tall, 6.8 inches wide and 10.5 inches long, Nintendo's new Wii U console will have a single self-loading media bay for the new 12-centimeter proprietary high-density optical discs, as well as the current 12-centimeter Wii optical discs.
The new controller incorporates a 6.2-inch, 16:9 touch screen and traditional button controls, including two analog Circle Pads. This combination removes the traditional barriers between games, players and the TV by creating a second window into the video game world. The rechargeable controller includes a Power button, Home button, +Control Pad, A/B/X/Y buttons, L/R buttons and ZL/ZR buttons. It includes a built-in accelerometer and gyroscope, rumble feature, camera, a microphone, stereo speakers, a sensor strip and a stylus.
Up to four Wii Remote (or Wii Remote Plus) controllers can be connected at once. The new console supports all Wii controllers and input devices, including the Nunchuk controller, Classic Controller, Classic Controller Pro and Wii Balance Board.
Up to four Wii Remote (or Wii Remote Plus) controllers can be connected at once. The new console supports all Wii controllers and input devices, including the Nunchuk controller, Classic Controller, Classic Controller Pro and Wii Balance Board.
Video Output: Supports 1080p, 1080i, 720p, 480p and 480i. Compatible cables include HDMI, component, S-video and composite.
Audio Output: Uses AV Multi Out connector. Six-channel PCM linear output through HDMI.
Storage: The console will have internal flash memory, as well as the option to expand its memory using either an SD memory card or an external USB hard disk drive.
CPU: IBM Power-based multi-core microprocessor.
Four USB 2.0 connector slots are included. The new console is backward compatible with Wii games and Wii accessories.
Backward compatibility for Wii - Not GameCube
I hate to nitpick, but it seems that my beloved GameCube games will not be making the leap forward onto Nintendo's new WiiU console. No mention of the smaller format game discs or GameCube controller ports. Dammit!
When I read an article in the LA Times stating that video game consoles are losing favor, I have to wonder if the reporter has ever played Dead Rising 2, walked into a GameStop or connected anything to wifi. When this reporter explains that video games are predominantly played on cell phones, I wonder if he's ever been outside his fucking house!
Console dominance isn't crumbling - it's simply facing some competition from platforms eager to make money from the surge in gamings popularity.
Obviously, games on mobile devices and social networking sites like Facebook are growing. Its a new concept that didn't exist a few years ago! When they predict a drop in console game sales, could that be attributed to a failing economy and hefty $60 price tags on many new console games?
When Nintendo is surprised it didn't sell more 3DS units - um... it's $250. Much more expensive than any previous handheld release. Again... failing economy! Nintendo will do just fine with the 3DS because its a smart product with good games and it's backward compatible with the massive DS library. Free phone games will not bring demise.
Does this reporter think that console games are losing favor to Angry Birds and Farmville on Facebook? I'll play Angry Birds to kill time, but I refuse to grow corn on Facebook. The marketing value of the info these games "take" (perhaps "steal" is a better term) from players and targeted ads, makes their cheap or free price a no-brainer for the manufacturer.
I'll go so far as to say I really enjoy playing Angry Birds and Stupid Zombies on my phone, but Super Mario Galaxy on my Wii or Borderlands on PS3 is a much different and robust experience. Mobile games can't compete with console games - the technology to make mobile games as rich and fulfilling as console games doesn't exist now. All the latest consoles connect to the internet for multi-player options and open a whole new element to the formerly solitary console experience.
Even in traditional face-to-face gaming, can you imagine inviting a few friends over to play Angry Birds on your fucking cell phone?
Gaming is expanding and that's a good thing for everyone involved - both manufacturers and players. Technology will always advance bringing new options, but the latest "thing" will never eclipse the decades of amazing products that provide a market for that latest thing.
Predefined notions often need to be battered, banished and destroyed. When you think you know everything, something simple can remind you that you know very little.
If you've recently bragged about your latest high score, check out these fucking nails!
Case in point. "Obvious" is sometimes right at your finger tips, but you don't always see it.
Government researchers and Foodies recently determined that nutrition is far less important than previously believed. As American's embrace dietary-disregard with avid passion, research shows that Video Games, Porn and Beer are vital to human existence.
No longer do Fruits, Vegetables, Grains, Protein and Dairy play the significant role once thought. Studies show that drunken nudity and digital interaction are far more imperative to the human condition - providing one has enough income to properly feed these dependencies.
Doctors are now instructing patients to embrace Donkey Kong and Missile Command and worry less about scarfing cakes, cookies and pie.
"You only live once," stated renown physician, Andy Bangderhard.
Maria Sharapova is still undefeated at the French Open and continues to the Semi-Final round at Roland Garros. She's a fighter and would likely give Evil Otto a beating if he were to bounce her way...
Andrea Petkovic is a great player and has fought hard against Maria in the Quarters. No Petko Dance today.
Stoked to delve into some Maria Sharapova court time in Virtua Tennis 4!
When porn star Jenna Haze posts a tweet seeking an E3 pass, it's your civic duty to provide her one. By "your", I mean any of you gaming geeks that get a pile of passes mailed to the office in the hopes you'll promote E3 with zest and zeal.
For the sake of all those attending E3, don't you want to be the one who can claim responsibility for hooking up Ms. Haze with a pass?. Who wouldn't want to bump into a porn star on the show floor?
If you have an extra pass... you hold the power to make a lot of geeks very happy!
Since Maria Sharapova remains undefeated in the French open and the internet is laden with hot pix of her, we decided to commemorate her win... 8-bit style.
I'm looking forward to some Maria Sharapova action in Virtua Tennis 4!
The TV ads for the free Xbox make me wonder if they really needs to give away game consoles to sell PC laptops. Regardless, I don't think all the spyware and virus hassles really make this a good deal. After scraping all the malware off the drive each week, do you really have time to play video games anyway?
In the long run, I'd much rather buy a Mac and a PS3 and not worry about the problems that plague Windoze. LOL!
I was pretty stoked to see Maria Sharapova make a cool comeback in the French Open at Roland Garros today.
She skillfully displayed her determination, strength and insanely hot physique, as she invaded the French Open... Having no idea her post-match duty would be to save the world!
Who could resist playing as tennis' blonde bombshell Maria sharapova in Virtua Tennis 4?
If you've ever played Atari's Yar's Revenge on the 2600, you know its one of the best (and strangest) games for that console. A reboot of the 1981 favorite is available as a Facebook game. Perhaps this will give me reason to hate Facebook a little less - but only a little.
I dig the reboot version, Yar's Revenge: First War with the updated 2D screen. That abysmal crap on Xbox as a 3D rail-shooter takes it too a level where the intrigue of the original game is all but lost in a game that isn't much fun and seems like every other rail-game. Even the swirling Qotile looks awesome in the 2D version.
In my opinion, this is the way to update a classic video game. Too many reboots invent a completely different experience and slap a classic title on it for recognition. Those playing this Yar's Revenge reboot should experience fond memories of the 2600 original surge through them... and even get an urge to slap that old cart into their 2600!
After randomly stumbling across Dragon's Lair for Wii I went to Amazon and put it on my wish list so I wouldn't forget about it. I wake the next morning to an email from Amazon, citing my wish list addition, asking me to peruse their video game area designed around my "choices". OK fine. I was reminded of a recent Wal-Mart email I'd received telling me about trading in my old DS for a shiny new 3DS. Trade-ins at fucking Wal-Mart? What are they going to do with used Nintendo hardware?
Shortly after breakfast I see that "K-Mart Gamer" is following me on Twitter. K-Mart gamer? What the fuck is this and I delve into their gaming web site (K-Mart has a gaming web site?) and find their Facebook page. This would have ended promptly, but they had an interesting interview with one of their hardcore gaming customers, Stephanie - who's also pretty cute - I read on. Cool chick.
Stoked to read about a woman so into gaming I did some searching and discovered several box-store retailers dishing content about their gaming fortitude via interviews with gamer girls - none as fetching as Stephanie though. When did these unlikely retail behemoths decide they were "gamer headquarters"? I'm suspicious when cute gamer-girls are put front & center by lethargic box-stores claiming to be my new gaming headquarters. Who are these behind-the-scenes minions coming forth to lure me into the mile-long isles of retail box-stores in search of a new PS3 title?
It almost seems as though they're hiding their traditional retail-bloatedness behind the guise of being "gamers just like you". Me? I'm a tad skeptical. They've set up micro sites laden with game-stuff hoping we'll forget all the other crap they sell. I don't consider Wal-Mart or Target a sporting goods store simply because they have an isle of baseball gloves and footballs. Are we to liken them to GameStop because they have a video game isle? Still a bit skeptical, but I'm always looking for a good price.
When debating the purchase of a specific game, I'll go online in search of a reputable retailer who won't sell my credit card info to supplement his bottom line. Occasionally I want to be in the thick-of-it and GameStop comes to mind. They tend to be staffed by gamers and carry titles outside the top 10 best sellers, not to mention an array of used gems waiting to be snatched up.
I suppose the box-stores have succeeded in getting their message to me: "We sell video games!"
Using attractive gamer-girls certainly didn't hurt either. Perhaps the next time I drive past a box-store I'll remember they sell video games in addition to tube socks and oil filters. Game on!
As much as one is tempted to hate Sony for their PSN outage, is there any room for some Sony-love?
As a longtime electronics manufacturer and 15 years in video gaming with the PlayStation, they've given gamers years of extraordinary gaming experiences. The online PSN Network was another forward leap enabling gamers to connect on levels not previously possible.
Then the PSN Network was hacked!
All the familiarity gamers had online was gone. Vanished without warning or explanation. Days passed. No word from Sony - just erroneous error messages at login. Very strange...
This is the first time a gaming network has been attacked and taken offline for such a duration. Once the facts began to emerge they didn't pacify - they ignited client anger. Hackers had stolen the personal and financial data of millions of Sony PSN users. Sony waited days before alerting it's customers aout the breach! Holy shit!
It may have taken a while for Sony to accurately assess the damage, but clients are never content to be left in the dark when their personal data is at risk. Sony's silence will cost them dearly.
Only Sony knows what defenses were in place to protect against intrusion... was this really Sony's fault? Is it easier to blame a known entity like Sony instead of faceless hackers?
This outage effects both Sony and their consumers and clients. Maybe we can give Sony the benefit of the doubt - until all the info is out - and hope they make a glorious comeback. What's the alternative - buy and Xbox? Fuck that! Lol
Sony's Bloodshed Continues
Customer confidence will be low for a long time following any resolution to the PSN outage, but some PSN clients are taking steps beyond canceling their credit cards.
Some game store owners are citing a rise in PS3 trade-ins that are above and beyond normal. They claim that PS3's are being traded in with complete game libraries and not for cash - for Xboxes. Its a sad day when a gamer forgoes a PlayStation for a Microsoft product. You'll forgive me if I'm not a fan of MS having used their hole-ridden Windows and Explorer offerings. Microsoft alone should be enough catalyst to buy a Mac! :)
As my excitement mounted during the lead-in to the Kentucky Derby, I couldn't help noticing how scarce horse racing is on video game consoles. Fighting, driving, shooting - all are in wide availability from Atari to Sony consoles. No horse racing!
How can this be?!? Horse racing certainly lacks the popularity of skateboarding, football and soccer, but I'm stunned at the lack of Horse Racing games for video game consoles.
Today being Free Comic Book Day, I ventured to my local Newbury Comics to snag a few free books and decided o browse their video games. What's the first title I see on the shelf?
Yep - a horse racing game for the PS2. I yanked Gallop Racing 2003 off the shelf and headed for the register. I was pretty stoked to find some video game console horsie-action on Derby Day! As expected its an unusual game in which racing is only one component of the game.
My economics proffessor always reminded us that there is only one constant in the crazy world of economics - TANSTAAFL.
This stands for There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
The only deviation from this is Free Comic Book Day! On Free Comic Book Day there is a "free lunch" and it comes in the form of a free comic book - several actually.
Free Comic Book Day
Every year on the first Saturday in May the world acknowledges Free Comic Book Day where comic shops around the globe (OK, maybe it's not gloal) offer a selection of free comic books in the hope of getting people interested in comics. For some, the hope is they will actually readsomething.
Don't be left out! Stop by your local comic book shop in the hope they are celebrating Free Comic Book Day and breaking the economic standard of TANSTAAFL!
I'm looking to snag a copy of Pep's Betty & Veronica comic book, Thor and any other insanely massive Super Heroes that are lying around.
Atari User has coverage of all the latest Atari related news including homebrew hardware modifications for your Atari systems and new games released on your favorite Atari consoles and computers including: Atari 2600, Atari 5200, Atari 7800, Atari Lynx, Atari Jaguar, Atari 400/800, Atari XL/XE, Atari ST/TT and Atari Falcon.
Atari User is published every month as a quality PDF download. Readers get direct download links to the public domain, shareware and homebrew releases we feature in the magazine through each issue's bonus page. Atar User really does showcase the latest and greatest releases for everything from the Atari 2600 to the Atari Jaguar.
Become a Booth Babe for G4 and hang out with Sara Underwood at E3! They're not just pretty faces - these girls are gamers! Makes you want an E3 pass...
It's kind of a shame that Booth Babe contestant videos can't contain any nudity. "Naked" never hurts when it comes to smart sexy gamer-girls :)
Even though the original movie came out on May 5th, the phonics of it make May 4th the obvious choice for a play-on-words and a Star Wars Holiday. In celebration we're forgoing our auto insurance deductible and giving "The Force" a whirl at 80 MPH on the interstate.
Wish us luck, enjoy the tits and Happy Star Wars Day!
It's hard to resist the allure of a cute chic dressed as a super hero at a comic con, but the effect is a bit more pleasing when that "chick" is a porn star. Porn stars retain a socially-granted permission (or expectation) to be a tad sexier than the average citizen.
Take Jessica Jaymes for instance...
While her "costume" may lack the detail, accuracy and passion of a comic con attendee, she does exude a certain authenticity that makes me want to be "rescued".
As Star Wars villains go, everyone digs Boba Fett. There's a certain mystery around him and his bounty hunter character. However, if I were stumbling through space in the Millennium Falcon, I think I'd rather be tracked down by Ms. Boba Fett.
She'd make a swell game character. So, who's gonna bring Ms. Fett to life on my PS3? :)
The iPad is the ultimate accessory for boosting one's public cool-factor. You'll be the coolest cat at the coffee shop surfing the web on your slick Apple tablet. Or whip out your iPad in an unlikely place and watch as approving bystanders nod, wink and wave-on your indelible achievement as an iPad owner.
But wasn't this the cool-factor associated with the original iPad?
Now that everyone has one (or has seen one) that cool-factor had degraded to a dork-factor.
"Super, you have $450. So what?"
Well, to avoid being just another tablet-toting jerk-off, you need a bit of humility. You need to dial back the superiority nonsense.
As you sip your coffee on the commuter train or in a local coffee shop, fire up a game of Dig Dug, Angry Birds or work on a spreadsheet. But please acknowledge that you're no better than folks who only go to coffee shops the get some fucking coffee.
The iconic visual of an Etch-A-Sketch is just the ticket for protecting your valuable iPad 2 while not glorifying the fact that you own one. Be creative - Don't be a douche!
When was the last time you saw these logos and weren't on a retro computer site?
Well... have you ever envisioned a Commodore 64 with a DVD drive & USB ports? How about an Amiga 3000 with a Blu-Ray drive? Get ready! Commodore is back and have even gone the distance of resurrecting a familiar Disney tie-in!
In 1982, both the original Commodore 64 and Disney's blockbuster Tron were released. Almost 30 years later, on April 5, 2011, Jeff Bridges reappears in Tron Legacy and the Commodore 64 emerges with a modern overhaul! Each Tron Legacy DVD or Blu-ray features advertising for Commodore and the new Commodore 64. Today both Disney and The Commodore 64 & Amiga have undergone immense changes.
Get in line to get a modernized classic computer! Check out the new Commodore web site for all the details.
Nintendo president Satoru Iwata, during his recent keynote at GDC, said inexpensive, disposable games were destroying the value of the products being made by companies like Nintendo. The Rovio folks chose to take this as a personal attack on the success of their Angry Birds game. The bottom line is technology changes daily and change is difficult for everyone involved.
Console manufacturers are accustomed to big-budget games that can be turned into series with new titles emerging yearly. If you think of a smart-phone as another platform rather than just a phone, the model is much different. The app budgets are much smaller, but the nature of the mobile format is flexibility.
Once you buy a Wii game, the disc is a final entity. The only way to update it is through wireless connectivity between the console and a wifi internet connection. Stats show a low percentage of console owners making the net connection. Apps on smart-phones are frequently updated and users can manually or automatically get updates to most all of the software and games on their phones. There's a big gap between that "instant update" mentality and the finality of a cartridge or disc-based game. Presently In Gaming
The rift with Nintendo and Rovio seems to be very centered on the present without regard for changes coming in the near future. Nintendo feels the mobile games are cheap and Rovio feels they are on the cutting edge of a new era. Who's right? Both!!
Today everyone savvy of the gaming scene knows the difference between a 99-cent app and a $50 game. That isn't to say each doesn't have a legitimate place and large audience. Sales and downloads tell the truth for both phones & consoles - people love mobile games as well as dedicated console games. No one wonders why they can't download Donkey Kong Country to their Blackberry any more than they expect to pay 99-cents for DKC at their local game store. Currently there is a perceptual difference to these platforms and an expectation of what each transaction will yield. Nintendo isn't losing any sales because customers are playing Angry Birds on their smart phone instead of buying the latest Wii game. for now...
PC Gaming Shifts to Downloads
Stats show most PC game sales happen online as opposed to at a retail register. What's not to like about buying a game from the convenience of home and being able to play it minutes later? Sounds good. Online console networks are slowly bridging that gap, but its S L O W. Smart-phone apps are steering a standard for instant gratification. Still we download smart-phone apps from any where and go to game stores to get our console fix. But that's going to change.
Future of Game Sales
It seems reasonable to think that the convenience of online sales will eventually force the console folks, like Nintendo, to shift gears and change their models. That's where I think Nintendo's "attack" on Rovio begins to have a great deal of relevance - in the future.
Today, inexpensive games come from mobile phone downloads and big-budget games come from GameStop. As technology progresses more and more games will come from online sources and be more cross-purposed. At that point you may very well see an $50 version of Donkey Kong Country along side a $5 knock-off. There won't be a "download" vs "retail" differentiation. Games may be more lumped in one bucket, so to speak. When the difference between cheap phone-games and console games becomes more blurred, companies like Nintendo will need to be very concerned about protecting the value and integrity of big-budget releases.
So,don't worry about Nintendo hating Rovio. Think about the future and what will make gaming more engaging for everyone who love to play.
If you loved the classic BurgerTime game in arcades or on the NES, this may be the summer for you. The familiar classic is getting an update. This isn't a reboot trying to transform a classic into an unrecognizable (and questionable) mega-achievement. Monkey Paw Games seems to have crafted an insanely pleasing update. It has familiarity with the original, yet yields a clever twist that promises to make this an enjoyable remake.
A recent April Fools video popped up featuring Burger King's creepy looking "King" as a playable character. Along with this parody featuring the "King's" face on the chef character, there was an elaborate Burger King tie-in claiming serial numbers on the condiment packages would unlock hidden elements. We're hoping the "King's" involvement was the only part of the April Fool's gag. If this game doesn't appear, we're gonna be pissed!
Check out the trailer and revel in the notion that this gem is to appear on the 3 major online platforms (Wii, PS3 & Xbox) this summer.
Check out the Monkey Paw Games web site for more info on Burgertime HD and the other games they make. I believe this is the first classic update they have done. Let's hope there are more! Burgertime HD screen shot...
Originally called BurgerTime HD, when it was finally released for Wii, PS3, and Xbox (November 2, 2011), they renamed it BurgerTime World Tour.
If the need to rock out 8-bit style becomes necessary, Devi Ever has a distortion pedal for you. This Zelda-themed guitar pedal is reminiscent of a buzz-saw and an NES. You won't find it at GameStop, but most online guitar retailers can hook you up.
It's hard to say how a guitar pedal and graphics from an 8-bit game came together, but this pedal shrieks with fuzz and gives you a warm Nintendo feeling - go for it!
The Caanoo is an open-source, Linux-based handheld video game emulator and media player made by by GamePark Holdings of South Korea. It is the successor to the GP2X Wiz, and was debuted at the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2010.
The beauty of the Caanoo is you don't need to spend any money on games or software! Huh? Yep, it connects easily to a Mac or PC computer (others too, i'd imagine). Once connected to your cpu of choice, you simply download emulators and ROMs and copy them to the Caanoo via the included cable.
The Caanoo supports a wide variety of console emulators from Atari and Colecovsion to Vectrex ad MAME. You can buy one through Think Geek and there's even a Caanoo Open Source web site where you can download a variety of emulators and other useful software. As always, you're on your own when it comes to finding ROMs. As with emulators running on a standard computer, the Caanoo's emulators suffer the same ROM incompatibility issues. I had a few discs chock full of my favorite game ROMs and not a single one worked! Ugh! Persevere and you will find ROMs for all your favorite games.
The Caanoo comes with a 2GB SD card to get you started, but it's essentially an empty slate when you open the box. If you chase down and install software and ROMs you'll have one of the most unique portable gaming consoles on the market. Worth the effort if you love playing the classics and a lot of recent games!
March 27, 2011 Retro Gaming Blog Post:
3DS Sunday! Nintendo's 3D Launch Day!
I'm as excited as the next person about Nintendo's 3DS launch. I almost wish I was getting one - who doesn't like a new toy? BUT... I'm going to hold out for a price drop by which time there will be a used game market for the 3DS.
Instead I ordered a GP2X Caanoo, the handheld Mame emulator that plays all the old-school ROMs. Isn't that the point to buying a new video game console or handheld... to play classic games? :)
"Sex Sells" is an age old concept used to boost interest, buzz and/or popularity for almost anything. The video game industry knows this well, but doesn't always become as sexual as 2K Games did to promote their Top Spin 4 game.
Pairing a pro tennis player with an actress seems logical as an advertisement, although I would have gone for Maria Sharapova - just an opinion. 2K Games chose tennis pro, Serena Williams and actress/gamer, Rileah Vanderbilt, developing a sex-charged video featuring the sexiest tennis player and sexiest tennis gamer.
2K states they never intended to run the video (Yeah, that's why they hired and paid for a pro athlete and an actress). The video managed to get onto the internet - go figure - and viral marketing took off as it racked up views on YouTube and buzz in the media from fashion rags and national newspapers to sports and video game publications. It spread fast! All publicity is good publicity!
In an attempt to be politically correct and distance themselves from the controversy 2K Sports released an official statement: "As part of the process for creating marketing campaigns to support our titles, we pursue a variety of creative avenues. This video is not part of the title's final marketing campaign and its distribution was unauthorized."
Considering the short skirts seen in any pro tournament, I don't see this as "too much" or inappropriate. I get a kick out of a pro athlete being featured in a video game ad. Seems like a perfect match-p to promote a tennis game with an attractive tennis pro. Still, I'd have gone with Maria, but this is a well done ad. It shows game play and promotes erections. What's not to like?
Yeah, 2K should have put Maria Sharapova in Top Spin 4. If the "sex sells" concept has any merit I'll be picking up Virtua Tennis 4 with Maria.
Crop circles are fun, but alien abduction is where it's at. The notion of aliens traversing the galaxy to periodically yank cows from Earth's surface with a tractor beam couldn't be better immortalized than in an accent lamp.
And an alien abduction lamp is the perfect addition to any style of decor.
When I saw this I knew right away I had to have one. Seems like the perfect gift for the Mulder & Scully crowd who's perfect vaca excursion is taunting security personnel at Area 51 rather than chilling at a lush beach-front paradise.
This is the kind of piece that adds a unique touch to your game room or man-cave. Call your interior designer and insist on alien abduction lamp - accept no imitations.
Have you joined Twitter, Facebook or any of the other popular social networking sites? Do they make you feel social?
They're supposed to. After all, they are SOCIAL networks, right?
In a world filled with followers who will gladly follow anyone labeling themselves a "leader", does anyone stop to think what it really means to be more social? I assure you it doesn't involve computers, logins or chat rooms. Being social is about getting out and interacting with people face-to-face!
It's great to be able to share pix online and keep in touch with people, but lets not pretend that's socializing. It's communicating - big difference. What about video games? Do online networks for game consoles constitute socializing? Fuck no! Yelling into a headset while playing Halo isn't socializing.
Gamers have long been accused of hiding away and playing games in solitude. Who doesn't like getting the crew together for beer & gaming? It's fun because you get together with friends, play some games and shoot the shit and catch up. Multi-player online gaming doesn't mean you're socializing with friends. I knew a guy who said he was going on a date and I come to discover he was in a private chat room with some girl he met (who was probably some creepy guy). WTF? Think, people! We're not so far gone as a society that we're willing to substitute face-to-face interaction with text messages are we?
Social network sites are great as is technology, but don't redefine socializing simply because you choose to do less of it and sit on your ass in front of a computer. Even a phone call to a friend is better than a Facebook wall-post.
Keep sharing photos and stuff, but get out in the world! Next time you order pizza online for an extended online game session, stop and think about your friends who are out in the world meeting hot chicks. They're socializing.
Just when you thought dumb-fucks have stopped multiplying... a national book store chain decides to cut costs by closing the only store in a 100 mile radius. Just what this area needs - more illiterate people who don't read books.
With Border's close-out sale in full swing, the lines where astonishing. It takes a 50% off closing sale to get locals to go buy a fucking book. The line wrapped around the store's interior and seemed endless. I picked up the latest Elmore Leonard book for my dad and waited patiently on the long line. Several times I thought about ditching this effort in favor of Amazon, but held in there.
Good thing I did! As I finally approached the registers and the infamous "impulse rack" full of shit no one reall needs, I found a gem on the lower shelf. Donkey Kong Jenga!
My son and I play Jenga now and then but we love playing Donkey Kong on the old Atari 800 and Donkey Kong Jr. on the Atari 7800. Combining the two is a win-win situation and a pretty interesting novelty. I'd never seen it before, so I was pretty stoked to randomly find it.
This isn't the standard Jenga either. You have a spinner to guide Mario to the top of the tower for another chick-rscue event as the 54 blocks become less and less stable. Hey, if you want to make Jenga more challenging - just add beer. So get out there and add this conversation piece to your collection of stuff your heirs will sell for pennies on the dollar.
According to folklore, if it's cloudy when the groundhog emerges, it will leave the burrow and winter will soon end. If it is sunny, the groundhog will see its shadow and winter will continue for six more weeks.
There's no way a groundhog would see his shadow in this crappy weather. Even if you doubt a rodent can guess the weather... do you think meteorologists are any more accurate?
If you follow any porn stars on social media sites, like Twitter, you'll quickly see they do a Hell of a lot more than have sex on camera. These ladies travel A LOT. I'll be most of them have more air-miles than a traveling sales rep! Social media sites reveal many porn star interests that you might not often think about - like playing video games.
We thought for sure there must be porn stars who are avid gamers and we were right. Trolling Twitter and other areas, we've chatted with quite a few (and heard about others) that love video games. It runs the gamut from those who remember Super Mario from childhood to others that are dying to snag the latest PS3 blockbuster.
We wanted to present our astonishing porn star gaming statistics in an interesting and idiotic way so we ranked porn star's addiction to video games and cross-referenced it with their zeal for shooting butt-centric porn. Who doesn't like a sexy gamer with a sense of diversity? Right? So anyway...
Porn star, Jenna Haze has won awards for being the "Dirtiest Girl in Porn" and she frequently tweets about her PS3s (Yep, more than one) and Wii. I have to say she's a personal favorite for a variety of reasons; gaming being just one of them.
Have you seen the shockingly poor quality of 3D TV?
I'm certain Nintendo will do 3D much better than the various TV iterations I've seen. Those 3D glasses are ridiculous and require batteries. Fuck that!
I hope it really is backward compatible with other DS games. Nintendo has done a great job in the past in including backward compatibility into their devices. $250 is pretty damn expensive so it will be interesting to see how well it sells before the price drops down the road. I'm sure it will drop to $199 or less by Christmas.
If you're like me you might think of Game Informer as "that GameStop mag". Many of us first subscribed when signing up for their rewards card in one of their stores. Naturally one thinks of GI as part of GameStop.
Not true!
Despite not seeing it on news stands and always finding endless stacks of Game Informer at every GameStop store, they are actually separate entities. I discovered this when I went to GameStop to renew my subscription.
Take a look at the renewal card that comes inside the magazine. They say you can renew at any GameStop or EB Games store or "See reverse side for instructions." I didn't pay attention to the pricing, but noticed that there was a 2-year renewal for a really good price. Of course I wound up at a GameStop prior to getting the card in the mail. So I asked if I could renew for 2 years. They said no - They can only do 1-year renewals. WTF, I thought.
After talking to the guy I looked at the renewal card and noticed the difference in pricing!
In a GameStop store they can renew for 1 year and give you the rewards card for $14.99. By mail you are dealing with the publisher who charges $19.99 and does NOT include the GameStop rewards card. Very odd.
If you buy even a few used games the rewards card pays for itself and the mag is essentially free. I was told that to get the rewards card through the GI publisher, they charge an additional $10.
The moral of our story seems to be renew Game Informer at a GameStop store - or pay more for less!
Porn has the unique ability to meld with virtually anything else. Porn has a universal acceptance among those who find value in nudity - like geeks and nerds. Apparently (and understandably) nerds descend on Jenna Haze's Twitter page when ever she tweets about video games.
We dig chicks who are gamers - all the more when they don't seem like the type of girls who would play video games. We wouldn't expect felmale attorneys, accountants or pornstars to be avid gamers. For all the attention naked chicks get on the internet, it's pretty cool that pornstars can generate interest in something other than being naked. :)
If you have an iPhone, you may have downloaded a few games to pass the boredom.
The small screen makes it tough to really get into a game, but what about the iPad? Much bigger screen. The iPad gives a significant amount of screen real estate on which to enjoy a game as you sit on a public transit bus boasting the iPad's cool-factor. Good luck, Bus-Loser!
Even though you might be playing Asteroids on your fancy $800 toy, it doesn't really bring back the true arcade experience. So why not shove your iPad into a contraption that will make you feel like a hulking behemoth as you sit before your tiny arcade cabinet playing your favorite iPad-pirated ROMs in truer arcade style? Oh wait, you can play Asteroids and we are promised that more will ship with the iCade, but it seems you'll have to wait for 3rd party folks to jump on the API to add iCade support to games.
The iPad interacts with the iCade cabinet via Bluetooth so there are a slew of things you can do while disguising your iPad as an small arcade cabinet.
The iCade will give your ultra-slick iPad a beatdown to the mid-80's by providing a joystick and a slew of buttons that work with the iCade support that can be added to most games. It will be interesting to see how this product sells. Personally, I like the ruggedness of true arcade joysticks and have often been disappointed by weak simulations that don't hold up to drunken gaming abuse.
January 1, 2011 Retro Gaming Blog Post:
Happy New Year! Now Go Shopping
Take advantage of GameStop's "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" offer on used video games. You can't survive paying full price for this shit!
Defining ingenuity in our modern world has just become more difficult. Is it genius to turn a urinal into a video game? It is if it gets participants to "aim better" thus keeping the floor cleaner. On the other hand, didn't pee-games end for most of us with successful potty training?
As soon as Christmas decor shows up next to the skulls & pumpkins during Halloween, Black Friday can't be far off. It looks enticing at first. Then those dreadful TV ads besiege us with "Buy Now Or Die" slogans and store hours that must make retail employees cringe.
Even the in-store diaplay is slick. With the Portal powered up, you can plop a single-packaged figurine right on it to see how it reacts with the game and what the character has to offer. This works with the figure still in the packaging! Someone had their thinking-cap cinched on pretty tight - well thought out!
Back in the late 80's when I was happily running Apple's System 6.0.8, I adored the Control Panel called Talking Moose. He later seemed incompatible with the changes that came with System 7 and I sort of lost track of his witty sayings.
How fucking cool is a ZOMBIE Convention!?! But why didn't I know about ZomBcon 2011? I like to think I'm somewhat informed about zombies and their occasional gatherings.
Every game geek needs one of these parked in front of their TV. This limited edition retro gaming-inspired couch was created by Russian designer Igor Chak. Each hand-made couch (as I prefer to call them) is designed and manufactured in Los Angeles using leather-covered memory foam cushions.
I don't live in a mobile home and have never wanted a trailer hitch on the side of my "house". What I was getting at is playing mobile game devices at home.
Then the need arose for a DS. It was an emergency!!
My last trip again proved that only airports sell Gamepro, but the odds of my travel times coinciding with issue releases are growing slimmer. Seems my airport companion is unable to maintain monthly issues and is turning quarterly. They call it "a thick, glossy high-production value publication that feels like a quality tome - not a skimpy pamphlet'. Lets be honest. The economy is in the toilet and its effecting EVERYBODY.
A global deal between UBI and Nickelodeon is going to let those plunger-shooting maniacs star in their own TV show. Created as a CG-animated program, they are expected to put together short segments that will comprise 26 half-hour episodes for broadcast on Nickelodeon.
In the midst of bad economic times, corporate greed and mass indifference toward the human condition - never has a company been so beloved as Apple Computer. Steve Jobs never announced he was going to change the world - he simply did so. He left an indelible mark on the world in how we listen, watch and communicate.
Twixt is a strategy game played on board with a 24×24 grid of holes into which each players puts pegs of his/her color. A bridge is laid atop the pegs. The object is to build a solid line (bridge) from your side of the board to the other before your opponent can do the same.
Quoridor is another strategy game played on a 9 x 9 board of 81 squares. 2,3 or 4 players try to move their pawn across the board, being the first to reach the opposite side. On each turn a player can advance their pawn 1 space or put up a wall. Similar to Twixt, walls prevent pawns from passing by blocking their path. You have to keep moving forward while erecting walls that slow down your opponents.
Shut The Box is a great numbers game that's simple to play and each round takes only a minute or two, but it can get rather addictive. Tiles numbered 1 through 9 are placed upright and 2 dice are rolled. The total of the dice is accounted for by flipping down the numbered tiles that add up to the value on the dice. Roll a 5 and you can flip down the "5" tile or the "2" and the "3" tiles - any combo adding up to 5. When you can no longer flip down any tiles, the remaining ones are your score. Low score wins. Sounds simple, but strategies develop and it's a pretty cool game that was popularized by drunken sailors.
I had this game a kid and bought it for my son. It's a simple game of following a path based on the cards drawn from the deck. Brings back memories of getting Uncle Wiggily safely to Dr. Possum's house.
It should be interesting to see how this iteration stacks up.
When it comes to making a compelling video game, a strong series of characters can make or break the experience. Hollywood feels every movie they create is laden with such characters that they feel will lend themselves to the realm of video game success.
Adventure Time, on Cartoon Network, is one of my favorite quirky TV shows along with Regular Show. Great stuff!
Until that mystery is answered, we can see the effect Kiss has on Archie Comic's Betty and Veronica.
Rarely do these lovely actresses combine their gaming passion with their day-job. So, why not combine the billion dollar industries of blatant nudity and video gaming? 
The Redbox folks are renting Wii, PS3 and Xbox games for $2+tax per night.
This pic was in The New York Times.
After hours of deliberation, they determined that GameCubes and existing Wii Systems will still play the older disc format.
Up to four Wii Remote (or Wii Remote Plus) controllers can be connected at once. The new console supports all Wii controllers and input devices, including the Nunchuk controller, Classic Controller, Classic Controller Pro and Wii Balance Board.
Stoked to delve into some Maria Sharapova court time in Virtua Tennis 4!
The TV ads for the free Xbox make me wonder if they really needs to give away game consoles to sell PC laptops. Regardless, I don't think all the spyware and virus hassles really make this a good deal. After scraping all the malware off the drive each week, do you really have time to play video games anyway?
Shortly after breakfast I see that "K-Mart Gamer" is following me on Twitter. K-Mart gamer? What the fuck is this and I delve into their gaming web site (K-Mart has a gaming web site?) and find their Facebook page. This would have ended promptly, but they had an interesting interview with one of their 
As a longtime electronics manufacturer and 15 years in video gaming with the PlayStation, they've given gamers years of extraordinary gaming experiences. The online PSN Network was another forward leap enabling gamers to connect on levels not previously possible.
As my excitement mounted during the lead-in to the Kentucky Derby, I couldn't help noticing how scarce horse racing is on video game consoles. Fighting, driving, shooting - all are in wide availability from Atari to Sony consoles. No horse racing!
Atari User has coverage of all the latest Atari related news including homebrew hardware modifications for your Atari systems and new games released on your favorite Atari consoles and computers including: Atari 2600, Atari 5200, Atari 7800, Atari Lynx, Atari Jaguar, Atari 400/800, Atari XL/XE, Atari ST/TT and Atari Falcon.
If you loved the classic BurgerTime game in arcades or on the NES, this may be the summer for you. The familiar classic is getting an update. This isn't a reboot trying to transform a classic into an unrecognizable (and questionable) mega-achievement. Monkey Paw Games seems to have crafted an insanely pleasing update. It has familiarity with the original, yet yields a clever twist that promises to make this an enjoyable remake.
Check out the trailer and revel in the notion that this gem is to appear on the 3 major online platforms (Wii, PS3 & Xbox) this summer.
"Sex Sells" is an age old concept used to boost interest, buzz and/or popularity for almost anything. The video game industry knows this well, but doesn't always become as sexual as 2K Games did to promote their Top Spin 4 game.
2K states they never intended to run the video (Yeah, that's why they hired and paid for a pro athlete and an actress). The video managed to get onto the internet - go figure - and viral marketing took off as it racked up views on YouTube and buzz in the media from fashion rags and national newspapers to sports and video game publications. It spread fast! All publicity is good publicity!
If you're like me you might think of Game Informer as "that GameStop mag". Many of us first subscribed when signing up for their rewards card in one of their stores. Naturally one thinks of GI as part of GameStop.
